Baby Weight

Everything is cuter when you put the word "baby" in front of it. For instance right now I am still a little heavy... well, really I'm a little fat... let's be honest, I'm actually a lot fat...

Now before you start freaking out and saying things like, "Jessica, you're not fat" "You just had a baby" "It'll take some time" "Don't be so hard on yourself"... I know, and I'm not stressing (very much), I'm just saying, let's call it what it is... fat.

But let's call it "baby fat" and then it'll sound much sweeter. For those of you who have had babies and thought you were alone in this (or those who haven't had a baby, you really need to know this)...

When you have a baby, you're body changes.

I know, profound, right? I don't just mean that you gain a little extra weight. Like during the holidays when you gain a little extra weight and your jeans are a little tight but then you skip some dessert and do two and a half weeks of your New Year's resolution to exercise more and you are back down again. That's not what I mean. I mean, my body will NEVER be the same. Even if I lose all the weight and go back down to the weight I was before I had the baby, I'm pretty sure that the shape of my body is forever altered.

And that's okay....

I made a baby. My body carried an 8 pound 4 ounces, beautiful baby boy and wow, that's hard work. And now, I'm sustaining a baby so I'm cutting myself a little slack. Eventually I do want to get back down to my post baby weight but I'm not gonna stress until I'm DONE breastfeeding. I'm accumulating clothes that fit better now so that helps my self esteem level. I guess the stress marks (of which I have tons!) will never leave, but then I doubted I would go back to my career as a bikini model after the baby anyway... hehe.

So for the sake of transparency, here's what pregnancy did to me...

pre-pregnant Jessica:
weight: 130 pounds
dress size: 6
shirt size: small
pants size: 10
panties size: 7 or medium
bra size: 36A

full term pregnant Jessica:
weight: 190 pounds
dress size: I didn't wear things with number sizes, just things marked "maternity or large"
shirt size: large (and that was tight)
pants size: maternity large
panties size: 9
bra size: medium sports bra (nothing else was comfy)

6 months post pregnant Jessica:
weight: 160 pounds
dress size: the maternity stuff still fits but it makes me look pregnant!
shirt size: large (a medium shows off the extra tummy a little much)
pants size: 12
panties size: still a 9
bra size: 38D

My (reasonable) ideal:
weight: 125 pounds
dress size: 6 (again!)
shirt size: medium (but not clingy)
pants size: 8
panties size: 9 is fine... I like a little extra junk
bra size: I'll take the 38D thanks!